THE RIDES OF MARCH
ACT I - SCENE I
Brutus: Portia, do come. Come my way, with thy bosom exposed in my mouth.
Portia: Thy wish be as good as granted, my lord. But, Oh noble husband, I am curious to know. Why be it that you desire the taste of my hanging valley?
Brutus: An urge, oh fair maiden. It be nothing but an urge. An urge, which the vulgars refer to as horniness. An urge, which the litterateurs refer to as lust. An urge, which to me, is love. Oh my Portia, I love the. I love thy tits. I love thy fair thighs. The thighs which you scarred with the brutal dagger oh, Portia, to prove to me, thy love. Oh, Portia... Fondle with my equipment thou shalt, rest thy orifice on my lap.
Portia: Oh, Noble Brutus, I having been so fathered by Cato, can, with ease endure thy massive equipment. But is my Brutus desirous of fellatio?
Brutus: If it be not much to ask, I answer in the affirmative.
[Portia PERFORMS ORAL ON Brutus]
Brutus: That was quite an act you put up, Portia.
Portia: You performed quite an amazing feat yourself, most honourable Brutus!
[EXEUNT PORN STARS]
ACT I - SCENE II
Portia: Brutus, I am well aware that I be thy mistress and I have no say in thy enterprise. But I had straying into my mind, a question of a rather personal nature.
Brutus: Wherefore speak'st thou in such a manner? Are thou not consider thyself my wife?
Portia: Yes, I admit!
Brutus: Then feel thou uninhibited to continue with thy interrogation, for I believe, it is but transparency, that comes us nearer.
Portia: Noble Brutus, thou being an honourable, strapping young man, in thy mid thirties, doth occasionally engage in the masculine act of masturbation. What be it, that you visualize, while doing so? Do answer me, wisely and directly.
Brutus: [IN A FALTERING TONGUE] I do picture thee. But for thy comprehension, I ought to demonstrate.
Portia: Delighted shalt that make me.
Brutus: Perform what I speak and thou shalt be enlightened!
Portia: I do not cross thee, I agree to what you speak.